In today’s digital age, the prevalence and accessibility of pornography have become increasingly concerning, especially when it comes to children and adolescents. We have been focusing on understanding the roots of pornography and how to get hope and healing from the problem of porn addiction.
We hope this article as well as our blog posts will help you understand the impact of technology on pornography use. Help to create a new perspective on how to heal pornography addiction-one that looks beyond shame and guilt to examine the root causes and underlying emotional needs of pornography addiction.
Porn Exposure
Studies estimate that the average age a child will be exposed to pornography is between ages 8-11(1). And current studies show that more than 50% of 11-year olds have smartphones (2). Which Jonathan Haidt, in the book, The Anxious Generation makes a very strong case for this being the very worse age for children to have smartphones, access to the Internet and social media, especially for females. (3)
Studies are also showing that the exposure we have to content that is available on the Internet and social media, not just pornography, is shaping our thought patterns and behaviors. Especially for our children.
The things we do today are directly impacted by the framework that were built into us at the beginning stages of our lives. While we have freedom to make our own choices today, the way we view the world is shaded by the glasses we constructed when we were kids-much like the glasses we wore during the Eclipse.
Porn Myth #3: The Cure for Porn is Abstinence
The key lies in addressing the “deeper longing” that Jay Stringer refers to – the emotional and psychological needs that pornography use may be attempting to fulfill. This approach requires us to adjust our perspective, much like adjusting a pair of glasses, to see beyond the surface behavior and into the heart of the issue.
If this is true, then maybe a new way to treat porn use is not to run away and shame it, but to examine it and adjust our glasses prescription. Jay Stringer says, “unwanted sexual difficulties are normal, but they are never random”.
Perhaps, porn is not the root problem but the symptom of a deeper longing.
This deeper longing is where we should concentrate our efforts if we want to find the path to lasting healing rather than temporary “purity” streaks or abstinence.
Porn Use in Digital Era
As we navigate the complex landscape of pornography use in the digital era, it’s clear that our approach needs to evolve. Rather than focusing solely on restriction and shame, we must dig deeper to understand the psychological foundations that lead to pornography use. By recognizing porn as a symptom rather than the root problem, we open the door to more effective, compassionate interventions.
Peace Family Counseling
Still not sure if you’re ready to talk to a professional. That’s okay, be sure to check out our blog post on what to do when you make mistakes found when you make mistakes found here.
If you feel ready , we welcome you to check out our counselors here and if you would rather talk to someone, you can fill out the contact us form here. We are here to help you on your journey.
References:
British Board of Film Classification. (2020). Young people, pornography & age-verification. BBFC. Retrieved from https://www.bbfc.co.uk/about-classification/research
Kamenetz, A. (2019). It’s a smartphone life: More than half of U.S. Children now have one. Retrieved from New Survey Examines Phone, Media Use Among U.S. Teens And Children : NPR
Haidt, Jonathan. (2024). The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness. Penguin Press.
About the Author:
Darin Hays, LCSW
Therapist
Darin Hays, LCSW, helps teens and adults break free from pornography addiction using CBT and trauma-focused approaches.
He creates a safe, non-judgmental space and welcomes faith-based discussions. Available for in-person and telehealth appointments.
