Helping Your Child Navigate Holidays

I would love to be able to say every child or teen client runs out of my office during the week of Halloween with great joy, or they have nothing but excitement for Thanksgiving, but we know that the holiday season can be very difficult for some children and teens, just like it can be difficult for us. While many kids look forward to costumes, family gatherings, gifts, and traditions, others are quietly carrying burdens that can make this time of year feel overwhelming.

For some children, holidays serve as reminders of what has changed, what has been lost, or what feels uncertain in their lives. Even joyous events can bring heightened emotions. As parents, one of the most important things we can do is recognize that the holidays may affect our children differently than we expect. Awareness allows us to respond with empathy instead of frustration.

Common Holiday Struggles for Kids and Teens

• Changes in routine and schedule
• Increased family conflict or tension
• Transitions between households
• Grief and reminders of loved ones who have passed away
• Social anxiety around parties and gatherings
• Feeling left out of peer activities or plans
• Academic stress before school breaks
• Sensory overload from crowds, noise, and busy events
• Financial stress they may sense within the family
• Body image concerns related to comments from peers or relatives

Ways Parents and Caregivers Can Help

While we can’t remove every challenge, we can help our children regulate and cope more effectively.

• Maintain predictable routines whenever possible
• Practice co-regulation. For more information on what it is and how to use it, this blog post will help
• Give children advanced warning for major schedule changes or gatherings
• Validate feelings without automatically trying to “fix it”
• Encourage good sleep hygiene practices
• Limit overscheduling of holiday activities
• Discuss with your child coping skills they can use when overwhelmed
• Keep lines of communication open
• Model emotional regulation during stressful moments

Remember, kids copy what they see. If we are on edge or overwhelmed with the bustle of all the holiday activities, we have to expect that our children will be too. If you have stress related to the holidays, you don’t have to hide it, but you may consider speaking with a spouse, a friend, a trusted family member, or even seeking some therapy of your own to make sure you have the outlets you need to express your feelings.

Losses During the Year Make Holidays Hard

If you are mourning the loss of a loved one, you can be open about that with your child and your family. Remind them that this is near the date of grandma’s passing and you are thinking about her. Make sure you give yourself some alone time to process. Just remember that your child is likely processing this as well, so having a family chat about how everyone is feeling this year could be beneficial. You can take this as an opportunity to remember your loved one.  The moment we lose someone, we often want to hole up and bottle the event away, and never talk about it again, but your children need to talk about it and so do you. Finding ways to keep their memory alive is a great way to honor your loved one.

Helping Kids Regulate Before the Holidays Arrive

One of the best ways to support children is to begin preparing before the holiday season is in full swing.

Try asking questions like:

• “What are you most excited about this holiday?”
• “Is there anything you’re worried about?”
• “What usually makes holidays stressful for you?”
• “What can we do together if things start feeling overwhelming?”

These conversations help children identify emotions and process their big feelings with you. For younger children, visual schedules and social stories can reduce anxiety about upcoming events. For teens, collaborative problem-solving and giving them a voice in plans can increase their sense of control.

When we approach the holiday season with patience and compassion, we create a safe space for our children to experience both the joys and the difficulties that may be yet to come.

The goal isn’t to create a picture perfect holiday season that looks wonderful in a scrapbook. The goal is to help our kids feel supported, understood, and equipped to navigate whatever emotions the holidays may bring.

We’re Here to Help

If your child seems to be struggling with motivation, stress, or burnout this school year, you don’t have to navigate it alone.

At Peace Family Counseling, our clinicians work with children, teens, and families to build the emotional tools they need to feel supported, understood, and ready to keep moving forward.

If you’re ready to talk, reach out to schedule an appointment or set up a free 15-minute phone call with our Intake Coordinator here. We’re located in Greenwood and Martinsville, serving the Southside of Indianapolis, and we’re here to help your family find healing and hope.