Helping Children Navigate Transitions

When our children were young, back to school time was filled with equal parts apprehension and excitement. Especially those early elementary school years. I remember the boys had so many questions about the school bus, where it would pick them up, where it would drop them off and how they would know where to go once they got to school.

Transitions

Even as adults, we know that transitions can be difficult and do take some time to adjust. Oftentimes, we don’t give ourselves or our children enough time to adjust to change-big or small. And if you have more than one child living in your home, you know that each child reacts different to transitions. Personally, I have found that giving myself at least 2 weeks to adjust to a transition helps ease a ton of the anxiety that I feel during a transition.

Helping Children Through Transitions

When working with parents and children about transitions, I like to help them notice the anxiety they’re feeling in their body when they think of the upcoming change. Anxiety is one of those emotions that feels different for everyone and for many people, they hide this anxiety well. I also like to remind people that everyone experiences anxiety to some degree every day and all anxiety is not bad.

For example, I have a little bit of anxiety on Sunday (my friend calls this the Sunday Scaries) night as I think about the upcoming week. I know that it’s my mind’s way of trying to help me be prepared for the upcoming week. Being able to remind ourselves the purpose of anxiety and naming it appropriately can help us put things in place to help us manage it well and not be overwhelmed. And it’s a good reminder that not all transitions have to be challenging or stressful.

Children face numerous transitions throughout their young lives, from starting school to moving homes, welcoming new siblings, or dealing with family changes. As parents and caregivers, we play a crucial role in helping children navigate these changes successfully.

Common Transitions for Children

Here are some of the most common transitions children and adolescents face:

• Starting daycare or preschool
• Entering elementary school
• Transitioning to middle or high school
• Moving to a new home or city
• Welcoming a new sibling
• Parents’ separation or divorce
• Losing a loved one or pet
• Changing friendships or social groups
• Puberty and adolescence
• Switching extracurricular activities or sports teams

As a parent, looking over that list, you probably have faced all those major transitions at one time or another in your life. When thinking about how to help your child handle transitions well, it’s important to remind yourself that this transition is likely a whole new experience for your child. Since your children look to you for how they should react in a situation, it’s important that you attune well to your child’s needs and help them manage the transition with ease.

Ways to Help Your Children With Transitions

Here are some strategies that will help you help your child manage transitions with ease:

Ask Questions

Don’t assume you know what your child is feeling about the upcoming change, ask questions to guide you. Here are some questions I like to ask:

What do you think will be the scariest part of the first day of school?

What do you think will be the easiest part of the first day of school?

Who can you ask for help if you’re not sure what to do or where to go?

Acknowledge Feelings

Repeat the words or phrases they used so they know you heard their feelings. This is a good reminder that every relationship needs the 4 S’s: seen, soothed, safe, secure. This is a great place to practice this for your child.

Share Your Own Experiences

Children appreciate hearing how we faced something similar and how it turned out. Share what is age appropriate for children and when possible, use similar words that they used to describe their feelings.

Prepare in Advance

Many schools will allow children to visit the school and their classrooms before school starts. If you think your child needs some extra time in the school to feel more comfortable, reach out to the school and see if another visit before school starts would be possible. You can also role-play, use books or stories to help children feel more prepared.

Maintain Routines

Especially early on in the transition, maintaining normal routines helps children feel safe and secure. Children thrive in consistent and predictable environments. This also helps them know how to behave in different situations because they know what is expected of them.

For additional tips on helping children with transitions, you can check out one of my blog post from a few years ago here.

This post, for highly sensitive children, gives parents ways to help their highly sensitive children with big and small transitions.

Summary

Transitions are an inevitable part of growing up, and helping children how learn to navigate them can significantly impact their resilience and adaptability in the future. Using the strategies of asking questions, acknowledging their feelings and providing examples from your own life can help children approach transitions with confidence and optimism.

Remember that every child is unique and may respond differently to transitions. Stay attuned to your child’s individual needs and adjust your approach accordingly. With patience, love, and guidance, you can help your child not just survive but thrive through life’s many transitions, setting them up for success in facing future challenges.