Darin Hays, LCSW

Do you find yourself coming back to pornography or other sexual behavior even though you know it’s harmful? You’re not alone in feeling stuck in this cycle. Many of my clients describe the same frustration—wanting to stop but not understanding why they keep returning to behaviors that bring shame and guilt.

The weight you carry may seem immense. The secrecy is exhausting. The shame feels overwhelming. You may be losing sleep, withdrawing from others, or watching your relationship suffer. Perhaps your faith feels distant, or you’re struggling with intimacy in your relationship.

Perhaps you don’t wrestle with addiction, but you’re in a relationship with someone who does. Maybe they keep saying they are going to stop their sexual behavior, only to find out later they never did. You may feel defeated, overwhelmed, or just angry. It may be a time when it seems like you can’t open up to anyone because of the embarrassment or judgment that you are scared of receiving.

When pornography or sexual behavior starts interfering with your daily life and relationships, it’s time to get help—and it’s time to stop fighting this battle alone.

How I Can Help You

If you are the one caught in an addictive cycle, you don’t have to figure out the “why” on your own. My approach goes beyond just trying harder or relying on willpower. Together, we’ll uncover the deeper root causes driving your pornography use through a comprehensive sexual behaviors inventory. We’ll identify your specific triggers and patterns, then create a personalized plan to help you drastically reduce and ultimately stop pornography use altogether.

If your partner is in the addictive cycle, I would love to walk with you through the chaos and multitude of emotions that may be coming up. You don’t have to navigate these tough dynamics alone. We will work together to identify your goals and provide a space to process the pain you have endured.

This work is deeply personal, and I treat it that way. I understand your concerns about judgment and confidentiality—creating a safe, non-judgmental space is foundational to everything we do. I welcome faith-based discussions if you desire that perspective, and I’m equipped to address the intersection of faith and sexual behavior.

Treatment Approaches:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
• Systems Theory
• Attachment Theory
• Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT)
• Prolonged Exposure (PE)
• FLASH Technique