Anxiety and Perfectionism Are Best Friends

Samantha’s Story

Samantha’s thoughts and heart were racing as she paced. She was having difficulty taking deep breaths or even concentrating. She knew she needed to get started but wasn’t sure where to begin.

Perfectionism is a Liar

Samantha is dealing with anxiety. Clearly, though there is something else at play here that is causing her to shut down. It is perfectionism. One of the traits I see most often in highly sensitive persons, or HSPs with anxiety, is perfectionism. Anxiety in general and perfectionism specifically robs people of their ability to be the best versions of themselves.

How Perfectionism Manifests

Perfectionism manifests in a variety of ways. Here are the ways it most often plays out:

• Replaying conversations with others over and over. Criticizing yourself for not saying, “exactly what I meant.”
  
• Procrastination- for example, delaying starting a project because it seems to overwhelming or you don’t know where to begin
  
• Fearing your work won’t be good enough or even perfect
  
• Feeling overwhelmed to the point of shutting down
  
• Being too hard on yourself for big and little things
  
• Feeling guilty at your inability to make everything perfect
  
• Continually feeling like you’re a disappointment to yourself and others

What You Can Do to Talk Back to Perfectionism

I’ve worked with HSPs who don’t even realize they are perfectionist. They just they think are hard on themselves. The reality is that perfectionism is lying to them. It’s making them think if they just try hard enough they’ll stop disappointing themselves and others.

If you struggle like Samantha, or you think you may have characteristics of being a perfectionist, below are some ideas on how to talk back.

• Identify times when you’re trying to be perfect
  
• Challenge perfectionism in all areas of your life
  
• Reduce your anxiety by letting go of the guilt
  
• Live at peace with yourself and others
  
• Start and finish projects without being overwhelmed and shut down

Peace Family Counseling

I hope this helps you find the answer to questions you may have about HSPs with anxiety and perfectionism. If you need help to reduce anxiety and let go of your perfectionism, please reach out to us. If you are feeling burned out, depression, anxiety, trauma, grief/loss, marriage/relationship issues, please feel free to contact us here. We’d be happy to hear what is happening.

We could help you find the right counselor to help you feel better quickly. You can also head over to our website to read our bios and request a specific therapist. Our physical office is located in Greenwood, Indiana and we offer teletherapy to anyone in the state of Indiana.