3 Types of Negative Thinking to Stop Now

Challenge Negative Thoughts with Journaling

A journaling challenge like a 21-Day Journaling challenge can help you to get to the bottom of some of the negative thoughts that are interfering with your life. You will make some good discoveries, but it takes time. Stick with the challenge. You will gain more momentum when you stick to it.

Cognitive Distortions/Negative Thoughts

Cognitive Distortions are words that are very familiar in the counseling world. They are used in conjunction with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy or CBT. An oversimplification of CBT therapy is teaching people to, “think about their thinking.” While that sounds easy enough, it’s not.

I talk a lot about how the brain is like water, “it goes the path of least resistance.” This means that once a pathway is opened in your brain, your brain will take that pathway again and again. It’s the easiest. Once you teach your brain a new way to think (the 21 Day Journal Challenge is a great way to do this!) that new pathway will be the one your brain takes. The tricky part of all of this is that it takes time and intention to create this new pathway. Unfortunately, new pathways in our brain can open up immediately when something bad happens. That’s why we can easily remember those times in our past when people called us names or something traumatic happened. The pathway for that event opened up immediately.

One more thing before we move on, we don’t actually get a choice in what our brains (nervous systems) register as bad events or traumatic events. That’s why I always encourage people not to compare their journey with someone else’s-their brain and nervous system interact with the world in a unique way.

Common Cognitive Distortions or Negative Thoughts

I think understanding cognitive distortions a little better will be extremely helpful. Here are a few of the most common ones I see in therapy sessions. These are especially present in highly sensitive individuals. I won’t be able to highlight all of them in this post but will try to talk about many of them throughout this month.

Should or Must

In this type of thinking people use should or must statements to put unreasonable demands on a situation. This makes them feel like they failed. Often people feel worried and scared when they use this pattern of thinking. This can even keep you paralyzed from doing the things that might help them get better.

I see this type of thinking most often in people who struggle with perfectionism. Often when people use the phrase, “I should have…” I will say, “Why? Who made that rule up?” It’s a good question to ask when you struggle with this type of negative thinking. Most highly sensitive people, perfectionists, and professionals struggle with this type of thinking and it can lead them feeling stuck and unmotivated. Being able to understand that you have permission not to get everything right all of the time. I heard Ross Greene, psychologist, say a seminar one time, “People are doing the best they can and they can always do better.”  I think there is a lot of freedom in that statement for perfectionists!

Black & White Thinking OR All or Nothing Thinking

In this type of thinking, people focus on a situation as all negative or all positive. They have difficulty thinking about the “gray” areas of a situation. For example, if you’re having a fight with a loved one, you may immediately think that it was all your fault. You’re a bad person. Or you might have some difficulties at work and think that the good outweighs the bad that is happening.

The danger in this thinking is that you may stay in a situation or relationship that is toxic because you’re not seeing the whole picture. You may also go into a cycle of shame and guilt. You believe you are solely responsible for what is happening as you are not able to “fix” the situation. Being able to see situations with the good and bad can be helpful. It will free you from toxic thoughts, feelings and situations much quicker.

Just World or Fairy Tale Thinking

In this type of thinking people believe that if you do good things, good things will happen. While there is some truth in making wise choices again and again, and it does usually lead to good things happening. The danger in this is type of thinking is that you may begin to develop a worldview of, “why do bad things happen to me?”. This type of thinking can lead to depression and ruminating thoughts. Being able to understand that sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes bad things happen to people even when they do the right thing can be a more helpful way of thinking.

Summary

I hope this explanation of cognitive distortions will help you understand your negative thoughts and rewire your brain. You must train your brain and create new pathways to keep the negative thoughts at bay.

Peace Family Counseling

If you are feeling burned out, depression, anxiety, trauma, grief/loss, marriage/relationship issues, please feel free to contact us here. We’d be happy to hear what is happening.

We could help you find the right counselor to help you feel better quickly. You can also head over to our website to read our bios and request a specific therapist. Our physical office is located in Greenwood, Indiana and we offer teletherapy to anyone in the state of Indiana.